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Very Thankful! Hi everyone,
I'm married with a one year old baby. My husband has incomplete paraplegia and in the last few years things have become worse for him. He is in a lot more pain and hence is prescribed more heavy pain medication. Surgeons are trying a few things, if they don't work, they may try to operate. He has recently been made redundant at work and all things considered, does not look like he will be able to re-enter the workforce anytime soon. Things are quite difficut financially and I may need to go back to work, which would be fine, I just didn't want to put our daughter in child care but don't know if my husband can take care of her due to the medication he is on. He becomes a bit of a 'zombie' on his meds, don't feel as though I get to see much of the man I married at all anymore. Sigh! What a twisted web life weaves Anyway! Thank you all for the opportunity to chat, it means more than I can say. I truly hope things are going ok in your world at the moment! Tinka
Hello Tinka !
I'm not sure I've seen you post before, so welcome!!
Yes, life does, indeed, take us on paths we never expected to tred. It is not at all easy for a young mother to shoulder the responsibility of providing the family income, care for an IS, and still be the mother she would like to be.
I remember when my daughter tearfully and reluctantly returned to work, placing her 5 month old son in day-care. What she (and I) realized after a few months was that a good day-care provides a more structured, stimulating and educative enviornment for a small child than a normal stay-at-home mother has the time, quipment or facilities to give to her child, WS or not. A few years later my son and DIL had the same experience and revelation. BTW, my grandson's are now 10 and 5, bright, loving, healthy well-manner boys.
This is only to tell you that day-care is not a bad option, you may, as we did, find yourself pleasantly surprised.
I hope you will post often, dear Trinka. It is a great help to realize one is not alone on the path destiny as placed us. We care for and share with each other, which not only lightens the burden, it shines some helpful light on the road.
We are thankful you have found us.
A big warm welcoming hug,
WS 70,IS 74, PPMS 25+ years.
Welcome, Tinka! As we say, we're sorry you need us, but glad you found us.
Caregiver for 30+ years to C-4 quadriplegic shot during a robbery at age 21. He practices law full time; we have two 20-something sons.
We all experience similar things here. Welcome to our 'family'. You'll get to know us all soon.
Be thankful the thornbushes have roses!
Deb and Larry 4-16-67 1-22-13
President Well Spouse Association - BECOME A SUPPORTING MEMBER so that we can serve others in need
We're thankful you found us! And sorry you needed to. Welcome! ((((((Tinka))))))
MS dx in '86 while expecting WC3; WC4 followed while in optimistic denial promoted by MS Society.
IS currently bed/wc bound; limited use of only one hand; self caths; still in denial enabled by cognitive decline.
Welcome, Tinka!! I'm glad you have found our little family as that's what we are!! I too am married to a man with incomplete paraplegia..... My IS is also experiencing increased pain and is using heavy narcotic pain meds. I know I worry about him being a "zombie" when he's on these meds and I leave him at home by himself.
I agree with Claudia that day care may not be such a bad thing. I was a single mother beginning when my daughter was 6 months old. I had no choice but to put her into daycare. She's now 34 years old and is a happy, well adjusted woman!!
Hope you post often!!
WS (59) to IS (67) Separated. Parapelegic from injuries suffered in Viet Nam in 1967. PTSD, Chronic pain... too many surgeries to mention.
FIS died 9/1/08. It was her CHF, COPD, and Atrial Fibrulation that hospitalized her the last time. Both WS and FIS are women who retired in 1997 and had lived together almost 19 years.
10 posts • Page 1 of 1
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