New member March 13, 2010

[angelintraining]

Hello everyone.

I am so grateful that this site exists (thanks to a friend of mine who referred me here!). For the past 5 years I have been the caregiver for my husband. He suffered two heart attacks -- one year apart. 3 stents were put in to date. He is now living day to day with CAD. Also he is a diabetic now and things are not very well controlled so his next step is insulin as he is at the maximum levels for oral medications. On top of this he is/has been severely depressed and suffers much anxiety. Complications (neuropathy and open sores on legs) from poor circulation are setting in. Many days, if I don't wake him up, he will stay in bed all day long. If I don't put a plate with a meal in front of him, he won't eat. I have to prepare his medications for him as he gets so confused. He is now starting to lose a lot of words and his memory is not good. It's been a tough road as he is such a brilliant man, and full of life and was so happy prior to all this. It's also very difficult for our grown up kids to see him like this and get so frustrated with him. Lately he's become very argumentative so I just walk away from him when he gets like this.

So, that's my story, I look forward to meeting new friends and having a safe place for me to visit and make sure I'm not losing my mind too!

Thanks for allowing me to be here!

Thanks

[LoopyLu]

Hello Angel - Welcome!
(I'm a bit surprised to be the first to welcome you - this forum is VERY active and normally there are several who jump right in and greet our newcomers. ) (Just wait til tomorrow )
We all kind of wish we didn't have need of this Well Spouse forum , at the same time feel enormous gratitude for it's existence and the generous members who are so very very supportive of each other, no matter what the citcumstances.

My IS has some similar medical problems to yours and it is indeed disconcerting to see them getting worse all the time. You do not indicate your age levels, but you have grown up kids so must be over 50? I would urge you to try and keep those 'kids' involved all along because it will be much harder to get help from them later if the care situation becomes more and more -- eh, intense. They will find it hard to step in, when there is a high level of care needed, and you will then find it so much harder to get a relief from your role.
Or maybe it's too late?
In any case, let us know how we can be supportive, and ask ANY questions you have AT ALL. You might want to spend some time reading past postings, you'll be amazed at the amount of sharing members do, and how almost every thought or question you have as a WS has been covered with caring and humor and wisdom. And we are always happy to re-visit issues too, always new insights!

[donita]

angelintraining,

I am so glad that you found us (sorry that you need us). After five years, I'm sure that you need to do a little venting and a lot of support. Feel free to vent as needed or ask questions or join in the fun as it comes along.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to watch our loved ones age if they didn't have such terrible health problems too. Darned old diseases robbing all of us of our plans!!!

Here are some virtual hugs for you ((((angelintraining))))

[claudia]

Hello, Angel, and and heart-felt Welcome!
I love the name you have chosen for yourself. To be sure, to move ahead as a WS w/o sinking into the depths of despair, we need the help of angelic patience, wisdom, courage and encouragement. This wonderful Forum fills that role when the angels fail to appear. I'm glad you have found us. Visit and share often.
A big welcoming hug,
Claudia

[Dorothy Saunders]

Welcome to this nurturing family, angelintraining.
We are here for you.

[Peggy]

Angelintraining, I am so happy you found a place where you can express those thoughts you think no one else has! You will feel validation and genuine concern, but NEVER judgment. This is a good place and we welcome you.

[Katt]

WELCOME ANGEL - we sure can use an angel or two here. You will learn all about this as you go

Sounds like you do have your hands full and we are so glad that you can take some time to spend with us.

Vent, cry, laugh and scream anytime you feel the need. Hope you find the support and love that I have found here.

Kat

[qtrhrsemom]

Welcome Angel... I'm glad you have found us, but so sorry for the situation that brings you here. We're here to help any way we can. There is a lot of knowledge and love here.

((((((((Angel))))))))

[angelintraining]

Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for the warm greetings! I already feel blessed to have found this site (thanks Jim!) through a new friend.

Today is his birthday. All of 60! He is so depressed about that aging thing but then he stops himself and says "I guess I don't have much longer". Our son and his wife came over and we shared a nice meal together. Our son gave him a certificate to take him on a day trip this summer to see a ballgame either in Vancouver or Victoria (yep, I live on Vancouver Island Canada) so this is wonderful.

Yes, I am in my 50's... actually turning 56 next month. Been married going on 39 years this August (I've done the math for you... was 17 when I got married!) LOL

I have a wonderful sense of humour and I find it helps so much to get through the worse times.

Two years ago, I also became caregiver for my neighbour across the street who had terminal lung cancer. You have to understand that I never would go near anyone who was dying, or was dead or was a grieving member of a family. Heck, I didn't even go to my own parents' funeral! My friend lasted 6 months. So this experience with my friend was God's gift to me to learn that dying isn't to be feared. I was with her until her last breath and she had such a sense of humour it was incredible. That has taught me sooooo much which is why my name is angelintraining which is what she referred to me as!

So on that note, thank you again for welcoming me in your group and I'm sure it will be a very rewarding place for me as time goes by!

Hugs to all ((((((())))))))))))

[easygoingeric]

Welcome Angelintraining,
As others have said I'm glad you found our little home on the web and sorry you have need of this place. I might suggest Posting more about your situation on the Help and Healing forum, so more of our members may get to know you. Some of us check that forum more often than this one.
(((((((((((((Angelintraining)))))))))))))

Eric

[rotton50]

I have a wonderful sense of humour and I find it helps so much to get through the worse times.

Then you need to meet Lindalady, Tundra-Lodger, Quaterhorsemom, Kat and the rest of the ladies here in wellspousedom. They can be a hoot if you get them all likered up.

There's table dancing, tiara wearing, lingerie flinging and general mayhem.

Throw in some gold lame and it's an old coot's fondest dream.


















( I'm the old coot, in case you hadn't guessed )

[lindalady]

It was SILVER lame you dumb ole coot!!!

Welcome, angelintraining. Hope you find things to help you.
Hugs,
Linda

[rotton50]

Silver, gold, whatever.

Lame is lame.













It is SO you.

[angelintraining]

now now children, play nice!

I can see I can fit in here very nicely with your sense of humour!

[lindalady]

Oh, hon. You can't be "nice" to Ray.
It just makes him worse.