November 1, 2009
November is National Family Caregivers Month. There are millions of family caregivers across the United States, providing care for spouses, children, parents, siblings and even friends. I care for an ill spouse who is totally disabled - there are six million more spousal caregivers just like me.
We often are forced to quit or reduce work. We face the roller-coaster of exacerbations, hospitalizations, rehabilitation, home and hospice care. On top of that we often face disastrous financial consequences of being overwhelmed with medical bills. We place our own well being ‘on hold’ to provide care as best as we can. Yet we carry on. Spousal caregivers are often de-facto single-parents. Our greatest loses are intimacy and ‘partnership. Where there were two, a viable couple, there is now one. We are left with one person to maintain the household, to work, to plan and dream. There is now just one person to mow the lawn, to fix the car, to cook the dinner and to attend the PTA meeting. Often instead of a spouse and partner you are relegated to the role of ‘nurse’.
It has been estimated that the care we provide just to our spouses reduces the costs to Medicare by over $51 billion a year.
Long-term caregivers such as I face daily struggles in our lives and monumental coping problems. I have tried counseling and medication - but have truly found solace in an organization that connects spousal caregivers in a support network throughout the United States and Canada –WellSpouse Association - a non-profit support group.
Through WellSpouse we maintain a virtual support website, open to all at no cost, a network of local support groups that meet throughout the country, a publication for and by the members, an annual national meeting, as well as respite trips and weekends to help caregivers get the rest they need to continue in their lives. I cannot emphasize how important this organization is to the wellbeing of caregivers. It is the one place that caregivers can come for advice and support where everyone else understands and offers compassion for a trying lifestyle – one that wears us down daily.
WellSpouse wants to reach as many caregivers as possible. The average participant lingers for years in a morass without meaningful support. My goal is to inform as many people as I can of the nurturing available to you at www.wellspouse.org. You will find a ‘family’ of caregivers available for solace, understanding, medical procedures we have experienced and navigation of the health care and insurance systems. The great thing about WellSpouse is that all of us have walked the same path and we know so well the effect on your lives. So I invite all spousal caregivers to visit us – you will be very glad you did.
Lawrence Bocchiere III
President Well Spouse Association
800-838-0879