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1	A Husband, A Wife, and an Illness by Dr. William July ... nationally bestselling relationship author. I have written four books on relationships and I'm frequently on national television and radio shows shows discussing relationships and news stories. My wife, Jamey Lacy, is a former athlete, wellness expert, and speaker. We were living the American dream when she was struck with a devastating illness. As we forge our path to healing and recovery, we've discovered vital ways to live our lives beyond illness and we want to help you do the same thing.	846
2	An Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers by Barry J. Jacobs WSA Caregiver Journey presenter and author presents this book after years of research in his psychology practice and his own experiences as a child with family caregiving. "At night, after the patients are tucked tightly into their beds, there's a hush in the hospital hallways, and you can hear bad news coming..."	704
3	A Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas (Reviewed by Gail Neustadt) ... is a collection of impressionistic vignettes about how the author faced fear, anger, and guilt after her husband of 13 years suffered a traumatic brain injury when hit by a car while chasing their dog. Abigail points out according to Wikipedia, Australian Aborigines slept with their dogs for warmth on cold nights, the coldest being a “three dog night,” and this becomes the basis for her book’s title. In this beautiful memoir Abigail recounts, not only how she survived the emotional traumas universally experienced by all caregivers, but also how her eventual acceptance of “this man is not the man I married,” leads Abigail to a life enriched by new friends and new pursuits imbedded in an independence she never imagined. Abigail’s three dogs along with family and new friends become the foundation of her emotional recovery. Just as she provides support and unconditional love to her damaged husband, so too do the dogs provide the same to Abigail. While her husband speaks a confused but sometimes strangely prophetic language, Abigail derives wordless communication from her beloved dogs learning the simple pleasure of just being together. Despite his suffering hallucinations, confused language and a personality disorder, Abigail is able to create a positive existence for her husband as well as for herself even in the face of institutionalization. This is a book that spoke to me as a former caregiver. It made me cry and laugh, sometimes at the same time bringing rainbows into my reading experience, and I highly recommend it, not only to caregivers but to those who want to understand some of the challenges of caregiving.	725
4	Cruel and Unusual by Marion Deutsche Cohen FREE DOWNLOAD This "prose well spouse book" is a collection of related essays, the ideas gleaned from interactions with people while promoting "Dirty Details: The Days and Nights of a Well Spouse.	756
5	Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief by Jennifer Elison, Ed.D. and Chris McGonigle, Ph.D. (Reviewed by Barbara. Plasker, Ed.D.) This book "brings a taboo subject into the light. It lets people know that they are not alone when they feel relieved when their loved one's suffering is over and their caregiving days are behind them. Liberating Losses gives the reader permission to let go and move on."	784
6	Mainstay: For the Well Spouse of the Chronically Ill by Maggie Strong. This practical and informative book describes the author’s journey as a spousal caregiver. Not only does Strong describe her husband’s battle with Multiple Sclerosis, she gives us concrete, hard-sought information on depression, impotence, fatigue, downward mobility, isolation, anxiety and the loneliness that can accompany a chronic illness in the family. This book started our Well Spouse Association. Mainstay is out-of-print, however, used copies may be found on bookstore websites such as Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com .	812
7	Professor Cromer Learns to Read: A Couple’s New Life After Brain Injury By Janet Cromer, Reviewed by Terri Corcoran Former Well Spouse Janet Cromer chronicles her harrowing 7-year caregiver journey in Professor Cromer Learns to Read: A Couple’s New Life After Brain Injury. Although Janet is a psychiatric RN, licensed psychotherapist, educator, and freelance healthcare writer, this is not a “how-to” book. Rather, it is an extremely honest, open accounting of how Janet and her late husband Alan coped with Alan’s complex combination of heart disease, brain injury, dementia and Parkinson’s Disease. Whatever the illness is that made you a well spouse, you will find relevance in Janet’s chronicle of the struggles common to us all: the horror and fright of facing chronic illness/disability after a diagnosis or major event (in Alan Cromer’s case, a heart attack after boarding a plane and suffering massive oxygen deprivation until he could be taken to a hospital, leading to severe brain injury); the heroic, extensive efforts to rehabilitate Alan as much as possible; the intense frustration and physical exhaustion of constant caregiving; the unbearable sorrow of losing so much of your spouse and your dreams for the future. [note: rest of review will appear in the next issue of Mainstay]	34
8	Saving Milly: Love, Politics and Parkinson’s Disease by Morton Kondracke This informative book describes how Kondracke and his wife, Milly, coped with her diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease.	786
9	The 36 Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for Persons with Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementing Illnesses, and Memory Loss in Later Life by Nancy L. Mace, M.A. and Peter V. Rabins, MD, MPH Although this practical and informative book focuses on Alzheimer Disease and related dementias, you can learn: how caring for any impaired person affects you, how to care for yourself, how to deal with financial and legal issues, and how to make decisions about nursing homes and other living arrangements.	705
10	The Caring Passage Give your input into "The Caring Passage", which will be Sheehy’s 16th book. vist this website, click on the video, then share your story with Gail. The book will be available in 2009. Described as “America’s most therapeutic journalist” and her writing “a road map of adult life,” the author of Passages, who became an icon of Boomers, will turn her attention to helping a generation navigate the emotional and practical sides of the caregiver role. In addition, for the first time, she will share the story of her personal passage to family caregiver for her husband. “It is a tale both cautionary and inspirational and one that readers will identify with both emotionally and situationally,” she says.	690
11	The Goldfish Went on Vacation: A Memoir of Loss (and Learning to Tell the Truth about It) by Patty Dann (Reviewed by Terri Corcoran) If you’re a well spouse with young children, Patty Dann’s new book, The Goldfish Went on Vacation: A Memoir of Loss, is a valuable read. In only 154 pages of mostly two-page chapters, Dann openly describes the year between her husband Willem’s diagnosis of fatal brain cancer and his death, and how she involves their preschool-age son Jake in an honest journey in which they both learn to celebrate living and accept dying. Her grief, fears, and day-to-day struggles are all too familiar to all of us. As sad as her story is, it can be comforting to read the words of someone who truly understands our distressing challenges	734
12	The Human Side of Cancer In The Human Side of Cancer, Jimmie C. Holland, MD, of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, explores the broad range of emotions people with cancer and their loved ones experience from the moment of diagnosis through the treatment and its aftermath.	913
13	The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring by Hugh Marriott (Reviewed by Terri Corcoran) This book is a fantastic read, and it may leave you with some new coping mechanisms, more confidence, and a lot less needless guilt! With great humor and a sharply sarcastic wit, Marriott gets right to the heart of all the difficulties we caregivers encounter – emotionally, financially and physically. If you ever though a nasty thought, lost your temper, felt like you were going insane, felt isolated, friendless, frustrated with bureaucratic idiocy, or wondered why you were being a caregiver in the first place, The Selfish Pig offers understanding, comfort and assurance that you are not alone or insane or a bad person.	865
14	The Torch Carrier by Antonio Richardson Antonio Richardson has written a powerfully poetic autobiography, which begins with his life as a 25-year old well spouse looking after his wife, Cynthia, who developed breast cancer at the age of 24, when they had 3 children, the eldest only 6 years old.	766
15	When the Man You Love is Ill by Dr. Dorree Lynn Dr. Dorree Lynn’s latest book is entitled, When the Man You Love is Ill; Doing Your Best for Your Partner without Losing Yourself (Marlowe & Co. /Avalon Publishing 2007). The break-through book is an emotional survival guide with a pragmatic approach, providing timely advice that is candid, compassionate and holistic. It goes beyond a basic “How To” book that helps a caregiver take care of an ill spouse or loved one. The reader will also learn how to take care of a personal relationship and how to take care of herself. The focus is on keeping a relationship that’s under stress alive and loving. In today’s world, most caregivers are women. However, there is a special chapter in the book that is dedicated specifically to men.	743
16	When Things Fall Apart- Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron The author does not focus on any specific disease or disability but on the spiritual life of caregivers. Although the author is a Buddhist nun, she discusses coping strategies that any spiritual person can adopt. Applying the principles in this book will help well spouses develop wisdom, compassion and courage.	1010

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Fact: Members

Note: For 21 years an annual supporting membership, including a subscription to Mainstay and other benefits was $25. Recently, the WSA Board voted to raise that cost by $5 to $30 in the U.S. and $35 elsewhere in North America. Overseas, Mainstay will only be available elecronically, in the members' area. Had we kept up to inflation the cost today would be $43.50.

Two-thirds of the members of the Well Spouse are under 65. About one-third are under age 45. We have members who are in their 20’s and 30’s, especially with ill spouses who have Traumatic Brain Injury, or MS. Let others who have “been there and done that” help you face the challenges of long-term caregiving.

WSA Stories

Playing the Canada Card: an American Caregiver's Experience

Playing the Canada Card:

an American Caregiver's Experience

My husband John’s disease erupted like fireworks in the afternoon of my New Year’s Eve birthday seven years ago. I went out for the afternoon and returned home to find a stranger who only looked like John, talking gibberish and tearing our house apart at the seams. The siege lasted 16 hours.I thought of survival, not of Canada. As it turned out, survival and Canada would become one and the same.

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